"I don't give a shit about Year 1997"
"Why panic and ask heaven for help (cry baby)"
"I'm already suffering from gas pain (and a cough)"
"Worrying will drive you to drink and drugs (you'll die sooner)"
"'97 is not here yet"
"There's still 2,028 days to go (What's the hurry)"
"I know I'm not gonna get away (no short cuts)"
"Life abroad ain't so hot either"
"Page your friends now"
"Go and watch a funny movie"
"Get high on brandy, sing songs"
"Then go downtown, play video games"
"Read about scandals on the gossip page"
"Find out whether the beauty queen had a plastic surgery"
"Who cares about tomorrow"
"Be happy now"
"I don't give a shit about '97"
"Hong Kong folks are adaptable (We're tough)"
"I predict by '97 (What will happen?)"
"Hong Kong will be paved with gold"
My name is Hui.
I'm chief editor of a HK magazine.
Truth Weekly.
(Chief Editor, Truth Weekly)
Released weekly on Sunday.
If you ask me.
"How's your business lately, Hui?"
(Three catties for $10)
(Free Fighting Grade Examination)
Start.
Are you okay?
Again...
(Failed)
(Tolerance)
Be tolerant?
Quick. Hit me here.
Again... faster...
Master, he really hit me.
I'm the judge, you won!
Master, give me cash to see a doctor.
There's ointment in the toilet, help yourself.
It's not fair, the fat guy passed!
Yeah, it's fixed!
"Do you know I'm waiting for you?"
"If you care for me at all"
"You wouldn't leave me to the long lonely night"
"Do you know I'm waiting for you?"
Do you know News Watch is on TV?
Not for singing with.
Boss, karaoke's really popular now.
Don't you know?
What do you mean?
Haven't you tried it?
No, I haven't.
You're too old for this!
Go on, you want to be a singer?
No, just having fun.
I know nothing about karaoke.
All I know is that.
Some talentless idiot like you.
Rents a box size room for $1,000.
Packs it with people.
All grabbing for the microphone.
And whoever gets it,
sings and inflicts pain
on everyone else.
For his own pleasure.
That is karaoke!
I know all about it, don't I?
If you inflict any more pain.
On me...
I'll dump the TV set out the window!
Bums!
Boss?
What is it?
We have a meeting at 10 a.m., remember?
What for?
For our salary increase.
Ask them to come in.
Come in!
You want to discuss a raise?
Yes.
Let's talk while we eat.
Help yourselves.
Have one, come on, let's eat...
It's good!
Pinky, what did you see?
A magazine cover.
May, what magazine is it?
Our magazine
Kent, which issue is it?
The latest issue!
Our cover's only good for wrapping paper.
And you want a raise?
We need sexy pictures, but you won't listen.
Every magazine's got
tits and ass!
If I'm going to make money from tits and ass
I might as well be a pimp. Are you one?
No.
Right, neither are we!
Are you guys on strike or something?
Miss Ho.
We just had a meeting.
Thanks.
How are you?
Mr. Hui, you must know why I'm here.
Miss Ho, I need one more month.
I've given you enough chances.
Your sales are the worst in Hong Kong.
Even if I agree, my clients won't.
We're terminating all advertising in your magazine.
Miss Ho,
I have a new strategy...
If you want my opinion.
You and your magazine are totally out of date.
Please sign here.
Miss Ho,
I may starve without your business.
But don't call me out of date.
In this business, I have to be ahead of my time.
Please sign the other two copies.
The latest hit? You can sing?
I go singing every night.
Okay, sing something!
Love is a many splendour thing...
That's 20 years old!
It's still a song, right?
Know any new ones?
Lots.
Name one.
Which one? There's thousands.
Any one.
Just name any latest hit.
The latest hit...
The name of a recent song.
Only the name!
The name of the latest song.
The latest... only the name?
Any recent song.
That's too easy.
The name... of... a... recent... song!
'Do you know I'm waiting?'
Do you know: 'Do you know I'm waiting for you?'
Sing it!
You just wanted the name!
I bet you don't know that song!
"I fall in love with you..."
"Why? I don't know why"
"I fall in love with you..."
Is that all you know?
"Do you know I'm waiting for you?"
"If you care for me at all"
"You wouldn't leave me to the long lonely night"
"Do you know I'm waiting for you?"
"If you care for me at all"
"You wouldn't leave me trembling in the wind"
"Do you know I'm waiting for you?"
Boss, have we been inflicting pain on you?
No, of course not!
Hi!
Are you okay?
Master Bill, will you be my teacher?
And teach me kung fu?
It depends on if we're destined to be master and student.
How do I know if it's our destiny?
We can work on it!
How?
Have you got a thousand dollar note?
Sure!
Don't give it to me, just hold it up.
- Hold it up? - Yeah!
Higher... higher!
This was Bruce Lee's dream...
To hit the target powerfully without touching it.
But he died before he could perfect it.
Watch the "Shadowless Kick"!
See!
Master Bill, can you show me once more?
Sure, got another thousand dollar note?
Yeah!
Go sell your tricks somewhere else!
Where?
Go Join Bruce Lee.
Master!
Shadowless Kick my ass!
Boss, I have stiff neck!
Give me some money for therapy.
What! Pay to get your neck hung?
The hell with therapy,
try self-help!
Hold your head like this, and pull.
Which side hurts?
Up, 1, 2, 3, down, 2, 3, 4.
A hundred times... and you'll feel better!
Do it for an hour to start with.
You'll save so much money!
Useless fool!
You call me useless fool? With my qualifications
I'll get a job in minutes!
For only $6,000 a month and no medical allowance,
Only a fool would work here!
Only a fool?
If I open this door.
And shout $6,000 a month
with limited work load
I'll find someone in minutes!
What did I tell you! Hey...
Who is it?
$6,000 a month with limited work load, I'll take it!
You want the job?
Yeah! I am Bill Lee. Just call me Mad Bill
I'm Hui. I'm in charge here.
How are you?
Please wait inside.
Sure.
Limited work load, right?
Sure...
Did you see any fools?
What experience do you have?
I was a cab driver, then a salesman...
Then a boxing instructor, what's the job here?
Magazine reporter.
Reporter? Piece of cake.
Just make up some scandals and lies...
Turn trash into cash! Easy money!
Easy, huh? What's your expected salary?
About $17,000 with limited work load.
Limited work load.
What are you doing?
I wonder how long it takes for a man to hit the ground?
You plan to jump out the window?
No... I plan to dump somebody out the window.
Who wrote this?
Boss, 4 stuntmen are coming in!
They say we gave their movie a bad review!
They want to know who wrote it!
Who wrote this article?
Looks like I'll have to be the fall guy!
Hey guys. I wrote it!
I meant your film was very artistic... only.
Too subtle to be understood by the mass.
Which hand did you write with? Show us!
I write with both hands.
Please gentlemen, take it easy...
- Piss off! - Take it easy, big bro.
I could wreck this joint!
Let's talk about it first!
Hold out your hand!
If that article...
Is this the hand?
I use my left hand sometimes!
Left hand? This one?
Sometimes I hold the pen in my mouth!
I wrote the movie review!
Your movie sucks!
You gave it a no star rating!
How many stars do you want?
At least four!
Here is one.
You'll find the other 3 on your ass!
Scram, or you'll get 4 on your face!
Punk!
Bye!
You're great!
Thanks!
You're called...
Mad Bill.
Mad Bill, you'll make a great reporter!
Thanks.
But I don't write too well.
The sword is mightier than the pen.
Surething!
You want $17,000 a month?
Yeah, $17,000.
Let's start with $7,000
3 month's probation,
then we talk about the rest.
Three months?
What if you close down first?
Look at my office,
Do I look like a loser?
Yes, you do! Look at these covers
Hong Kong and the basic law, who cares?
Who cares about Mrs. Marcos?
Mandela? HK folks don't care about blacks.
Apart from Michael Jackson.
See, superstar Anita...
Posing with her dog, who cares?
Who should she pose with?
Everyone knows she saw a ghost while filming.
A picture of her with the ghost! That's class!
But there are no ghosts!
We'll decide if there's a ghost or not.
Boss, the guy from the bank's here again.
Shit! Help me!
Mr. Hui.
Mr. Leung.
Mr. Hui, you're four instalments behind now.
The bank will repossess your premises.
I know.
Boss, lunch.
Thanks. Mr. Leung, this is my assistant, Mad Bill.
Mr. Leung.
Have some.
You work very hard, you keep it.
Eat it, you need the energy!
Is that all you're eating?
My staff have lunch boxes.
But we just eat bread, got to save money.
So that we can pay you! Have some!
No thanks. I do want to help.
But I'm just an employee.
I can't help even if I want to!
Mr. Leung, I've been living on nothing!
I can't even afford fishfood!
There's two left, so have one each!
Next month, I...
You bastard, you ate them both!
You left nothing for your kid brother?
This fish so naughty...
You know I'm broke! You naughty fish!
The fish is innocent. Don't beat it.
Give me an extra month
or a week.
Darling, I know you're hungry.
Give me a kiss... I'll feed you later.
Your brother is very naughty.
Give me one more month. I can do it!
You ate all the food.
Times are hard!
And there's no more food!
Do you want my bread? I've got to eat too!
This is awful.
Boss, since we're all hungry,
Let's steam the fish.
Okay, at least we won't starve!
No! They look so sad!
At least we won't starve!
Don't do it!
They're only selfish, stupid fish!
Ok, you get one more month, I'll feed the fish for you!
Thanks.
Mr. Leung. You're so kind.
What's wrong with you, Mr.Hui?
Everybody's talking about Anita seeing a ghost.
You showed her with her dog, who cares!
We're interviewing her again tonight...
I heard the ghost is real,
I'm going to take photos of it.
Is there really a ghost?
You'll find out in our next issue.
That's more like it, Mr.Hui.
Thanks, Mr. Leung,
Drop in any time.
Who looks more like a ghost, you or me?
Wrap the fur coats up before loading them,
Get the TV sets to Shekou by Monday,
Cash on delivery, not a penny less.
Okay!
Boss, the film people are back, look!
What nerve!
They might attract the cops.
Weren't they afraid
of our ghost trick?
Dragon, you'll be the ghost tonight.
I'll scare the shit out of them,
Anita, tell us about the ghost,
It was horrible!
Last week I was filming here,
And saw something in that hedge,
His hair was very long,
He was wearing a long white robe.
He had no feet!
No feet?
That's right!
I was petrified! It was horrible!
Oh... I nearly forgot.
I was told that
a woman was drowned by some villagers.
Since then, the village has been haunted!
Let's change the subject!
Anita, what is it?
The ghost... it's back!
There's no ghost!
It's just a white chimney.
Let's go again!
Help! A ghost!
Great!
Get the next car.
Wait for me!
Anita, this way.
Wait for me!
Hurry up and drive!
So it's a wrap!
Got it, Boss. We'll wait in the car,
I'm innocent.
I'm innocent too.
They say I'm a whore!
I know.
They drowned me. A terrible death.
Terrible.
I'm lonely...
I know.
Let's go for a swim.
I can't swim...
Stay here. We'll go for a swim.
Boss
I can't swim.
Don't want to go swimming?
Boss, what are you doing?
What, swimming?
Boss, I got photos of the ghost.
They're terrific!
I saw that ghost, she's a whore!
She was drowned and returns every night.
Did you see her?
We're the only 2 that didn't see a ghost!
She wants to swim with me. Did you see her?
Yeah, Yeah...
Boss wants to know if you saw a ghost!
- The camera! - Damn, the film got soaked!
Really, He looked so funny.
He ran like crazy and fell in this hole!
Hello, Truth Weekly.
It's the boss!
Hmm... Oh... Okay...
What did he say?
He's sick and won't be in today.
Do you think it's shock?
Maybe. We'll go see him after work.
No. If we go to his home,
His wife will make you play mahjong.
Don't play mahjong with them, they cheat!
She lets her husband win!
Last year they cheated me out of my bonus.
I lost my money for
a new pair of "Dr. Martins"!
They really do that?
I'll win it back.
We'll have champagne for breakfast.
How?
Do you know my other nickname?
What is it?
Elvis the Pelvis!
The King of Gamblers!
Make yourself at home.
Wow, looks like a gym!
You're really into karate, aren't you?
Yeah!
Those stars you did,
real cool!
It was a trick, a phony toenail, see!
It helps me make a living!
But here's a secret.
I'm practising something incredible.
Come here...
Hold it higher.
This is the 'Shadowless Kick',
I can move that bottle without touching it.
Bruce Lee tried to perfect it,
But he died before he succeeded.
I don't think it moved.
Shit! 3 years and it still doesn't work!
One day I'll make it,
The world will know about me.
But this stuff won't make me rich
I've been a salesman, and a taxi driver.
They don't make money!
But these will make a fortune.
Try it on!
Invisible ink and fluorescent lenses!
Inspired by a movie I saw.
"We'll play with the boss using this set,"
Then it'll be champagne for breakfast.
That's great!
Big money!
But none of us is short-sighted,
If we suddenly wear glasses, he'll suspect something!
I have two pairs of contact lenses.
Look, Red Chung... Green Fat.
No problem!
Why are your eyes green?
The fluorescent goes green in the dark.
It's okay as long as the lights are on.
Hey.
The fire drives out any evil in you.
It's just a slight fever.
God bless me.
Boss, feeling better?
It's just flu, I'm fine.
Is the film ruined?
It's fucked. The camera is broken too.
Really!
There goes our super cover!
The company's gonna close down.
Help me think of something.
Sit down, they're here.
Hey, Fly, thanks for coming.
This is our new colleague, Mad Bill.
How are you, Mrs. Hui?
Fine, fine.
We brought you a present, a mahjong set!
A new mahjong set. Great! Let's play.
Let's play.
I have a fever, I can't play.
This plug doesn't work properly. Is it on now?
I'm cooking some congee.
We're gonna make a killing!
Nine Bamboo.
Mind the Circles,
I'm not scared. Let's see!
Just what I needed!
What a coincidence!
Why don't you go with Circles!
Not if I have to pay everyone. Three Million!
It's double if I win!
Seven Million!
You want Eight Circles?
I don't think you want Two Circles!
Be careful - or you'll pay all!
Your turn.
It's worth the risk!
I guess so... Do you want Six Circles?
How about Four Circles?
You're Brave!
Carry on, my brave man!
Show your guts...
Try another Circle!
You'll pay all if you lose!
Nine Circles!
That's a high
risk card!
Great!
Now you lose!
Hang on, boss... sorry,
I called before you.
$256, pay up.
Do you know how to play mahjong?
Do you know how to play? Dummy!
I... don't play so well!
Even a fool knows he's looking for 9 Circles.
You blind bat, it's obvious!
You drive me crazy
I'll be damned!
The fuse is out again!
You overloaded the circuit again.
Get out; you don't know where the fuse is!
I'll do it!
You? What do you know other than mahjong!
I always fix it. Get lost!
You'll start a fire one day!
What's wrong with their eyes?
How should I know?
Their eyes are green? Are they possessed?
Maybe it's the ghost from last night!
No way!
Quick, pretend we're possessed!
The water is freezing...
I'm not an adulteress. Why did you drown me?
I'm suffering...
Let's go for a swim!
The water is so cold, so cruel...
Let's play... come on!
Hurry over here, darling!
I want the stake raised... five times.
And play for cash!
Hurry up!
Cash? Do you have any cash?
Is this enough?
You're going to win with One Bamboo,
If you do, you'll bleed
to death, darling!
It's not One Bamboo, I haven't won.
Then carry on.
A Full Suit! $2,048, darling!
And $1,024 from you, dear!
Play and pay!
Good morning, boss.
Walk over the fire first.
Hello, Mr. Leung, how are the goldfish?
I know... but I need two more weeks...
I'll have the cheque ready on the 14th.
If I don't, you can have the premises back, okay?
You're very kind, Mr. Leung.
One day I'll make it.
Stop the damn kicking and come here.
What's up, boss?
The bank will repossess our premises in 2 weeks,
Miss Ho has terminated our advertising contract,
That gives us no income.
The ghost pictures are ruined
2 weeks! If we don't get it together soon,
We'll have to close down.
Then you two can goof off forever!
The talk of the town
is Sandy's.
Engagement to the jewelry tycoon's son.
They're on all the covers!
But I heard she had a breast job.
She's always at the Helena Beauty Centre.
If we can get a picture of her breast treatments...
Yeah, breast jobs are
in vogue nowadays!
Where's Pinky?
In the toilet.
What are you doing?
Nothing, keep quiet.
Look, it's simple!
Stick it on and pump in some air!
It's horrible, stop!
Let's check out the Helena Beauty Centre.
Here's the headline...
"Cinderella becomes princess after breast job!"
We'll make a fortune!
Stop fooling around,
take it off!
Fly, did you take it from my drawer?
Take what?
Did you take it?
No, take what?
Give it back.
Give it to me!
We'll go to the Helena Beauty Centre.
And take pictures of her breast treatment.
If she had a breast job,
Our headline will be: "Cinderella's pre-nuptial bodywork."
We'll make a fortune!
Call me after your facial and I'll send the chauffeur.
Don't go to visit your mom,
She won't get any better.
I'm the Chairman of tonight's Ball.
If you're late you'll embarrass me!
Okay, Bye.
Good morning. Can I help you?
I'd like to see Doctor Pong.
Have you got an appointment?
No
I'm sorry, Doctor Pong's busy.
You have to book 3 months in advance.
My boss needs plastic surgery immediately,
For political reasons. Please tell Dr. Pong.
Please wait.
Dr. Pong.
They want you to make an exception.
Sorry. The doctor says no matter what,
It's 3 months advance booking.
But this is real "special"!
The doctor says you can go right in.
Good!
Doctor, my eyes are only half finished.
It's fine.
But you haven't finished!
Please come in.
Congratulations on finding me.
As I'm the best!
Doctor, where's the toilet?
Outside, on the right.
What kind of face do you want?
The most handsome one.
What do you want?
My boss is investing in MTV,
We need a female lead,
are you interested?
Oh no. My face is too fat.
It's only a matter of lighting,
Have a go!
Look at the monitor.
First choose the eyes,
Elvis, his are sexy.
Redford's are sincere
Stallone...
Excellent choice!
Now choose a nose... Clint Eastwood...
Jacky Chan!
Yes. I like him!
You like big noses?
I watch his films back home.
Now pick a mouth
James Bond, Warren Beatty.
This one!
Now pick a chin.
Okay!
Now pick a hair style.
Hair-style? Sure!
This one. Does it look like me?
Sure. This hairstyle suits you.
Slow motion...
Like this?
Right. Very nice.
Don't smile. Look moody!
Moody, good!
First, I'll do a quick
mock up.
Beautiful,
Now wave...
Excuse me,
Like that? Hang on a second!
You now possess the features of the world's most handsome guys!
No one will recognize you!
Take a look.
Jacky's nose looks good on you,
Michael Jackson's chin is perfect,
I'm BAD, BAD...
Superman's hairstyle is just right!
Am I really handsome?
A real killer!
Can I try it out on the girls?
Sure.
Hey, there's not much effect!
Really?
Doctor, I'm a fugitive.
But I'm still a politician.
Can I have...
A more... dignified face?
No problem, let's start all over again.
Sure, let's find a pair of piercing eyes.
Reagan...
Deng Xiao Ping...
Okay, now the forehead.
Walesa...
This one, with the patch,
Nose... President Li
I'll take it.
The late Japanese Emperor.
Do you like the moustache?
Now the chin,
Mao Tse Tung.
Let's do another mock up!
Now see if you're dignified enough.
Mao's chin is so powerful!
Chairman Mao,
The Chinese salute you!
President Li's nose is so righteous,
Just like the President.
The unification of the two Chinas is inevitable.
Deng Xiao Ping's eyes are so deep.
Be it a black cat, or a white cat,
The cat that catches a mouse is a good cat!
Long live Deng!
His assistant is snooping around,
And the money is fake.
Hey doc, I've thought it over,
I think I should disguise as a woman.
Sure, lie down.
Don't we need to choose again?
No!
Hey, what are you doing?
I'll teach you a lesson, punk!
This isn't surgery,
it's murder!
Let go of him!
Come here, karate kid!
You can work on your kicks full time!
Because we're closing down.
She was only having a facial,
Not a breast job!
Now we don't have a front page story!
What do we do now?
I told you she's a nice girl.
Nice girls don't become movie stars!
I'll find something!
Get that busybody May,
What for?
Ask a woman,
About another woman's dirty laundry.
May, everyone
says Sandy's perfect,
She's innocent and chaste,
What do you think?
No way! She goes to church every Sunday.
Isn't that Good?
I heard she has to confess.
Her sins every week!
What's wrong with Confession?
At confession,
You reveal your sins to the priest.
Why confess if you've done nothing wrong.
Good point. Thanks.
Yeah...
I tell you, that fat guy...
Go back to your knitting!
You think he's good, he's not!
See, she goes to confession because she's guilty.
We'll eaves-drop on her confession.
This will be our headline:
Cinderella confesses all before wedding.
We'll sell out!
Mad Bill, we're gonna hear her confession!
What happened?
My brother's fainted outside.
Maybe it's a heart attack!
Can you perform
the Last Rites for him?
Did you call for an ambulance?
Yes. Please...
Is this him?
Forgive me Father, for I have sinned,
Father, I want to ask you something.
Speak, child.
I'm getting married soon,
I'm not sure if I love him or not,
Is that a sin?
You mean he's not the ideal one?
Describe your ideal type of husband.
Does he have to be rich?
No.
Is he tall, dark and handsome?
What if he's 5 feet ten and a half?
And a good boxer, would that be ideal?
Father, why are you asking me this?
Uh... nothing... it's only hypothetical...
Do you have a lover?
No.
No? You must be truthful before God.
Really, I don't.
Oh! So you don't love him?
He's spent a lot of money on me.
What has he bought for you?
A house? Diamonds? Cars?
My father died when I was a child,
My mother has a kidney problem.
My brother is mentally handicapped.
So your brother is a half-wit!
I can't take care of them myself,
Robert, he paid for my mother's medical expenses.
And sent my brother to a special school in the States.
I owe him so much, so I'm marrying him!
So your mother's bedridden, poor child!
Do you need help?
No, I can manage.
You're so honest, God will forgive you.
Honesty is the most important virtue.
Please go home, miss, we are busy.
But I haven't finished...
Say three Our Fathers and ten Hail Marys.
What other sins have you committed?
Confess them all before you get married.
God will forgive you!
I'm not getting married!
You sound different, are you okay?
I'm okay, but I'm afraid you're not!
Forgive me Father!
I can forgive you!
But I don't think he will.
Come out!
What's going on?
He didn't rape anyone, did he?
Come out quietly...
How much will the bail be?
At least 5,000 bucks.
When does the bank close?
In one minute!
What? Hurry up and get the money.
We're sure of one thing.
Sandy is not in love with Robert,
She's marrying him for money!
Why are you so happy?
Because we've got a real scoop!
Didn't I tell you,
All movie stars marry for money.
What's the big deal?
Unless...
She doesn't have a lover...
We'll make one up! Imagine the headline,
'Cinderella's rendezvous with secret lover'
Awesome!
We'll be setting her up, I'll feel guilty!
You can starve on a guilty conscience!
Where can we find a "secret lover"?
Where did we find the ghost?
Who'll be the secret lover?
Look in the mirror, you won't do!
You're not much better!
Guess it's me! The price of being handsome!
And a fast mover!
Hey, karate kid.
What?
Karate kid, do your best.
To be her lover,
Give us some steamy shots
of the two of you.
That will save our magazine.
Okay, I'll try my best.
Thanks.
Miss Cheung, you're so kind!
You do so much for these orphans...
I love making kids happy!
You must have a few of your own!
Goodbye.
Please help me, where are my glasses?
They're here.
Thanks.
Sorry, I didn't see you.
It's my fault, I'm blind!
Are you okay?
I just twisted my ankle.
Where do you live?
Tin Sum Village
I'll take you home.
No, I'm fine.
Hey! Your things!
Thank you.
Be careful!
Are you a fortune teller?
Yes. I can tell your destiny by your bones.
Will you tell my fortune?
Give me your hand.
You just got engaged!
How did you know?
I felt your engagement ring.
Many fortune-tellers are frauds. I'm not.
Let me touch your forehead.
Your father's dead and your mother's sick.
You have a mentally handicapped brother.
Yes.
You'll get married soon.
You're very confused?
Yes.
As for your future...
What about my future?
Your future... well...
What?
Please stop, I live here!
You see that beef noodle stall.
I know I'm home by the aroma!
Let me help you.
Thanks!
You haven't told me my future destiny!
Are you busy? Come upstairs.
And we'll talk.
Okay!
Wong, wait for me here.
Yes Ma'am.
Make yourself at home.
Dad!
She's not dad. She's Miss Cheung.
My brother is mentally handicapped.
Hello!
Say hello to Miss Cheung.
Mom!
Mom is over there!
Mommy!
Since my dad died,
30 years ago, my mother's been paralysed!
Why doesn't she say anything?
She cried so much she's lost her voice.
You're worse off than I am!
Sit down, Miss Cheung.
Actually, I'm like you,
I'd sacrifice everything for my family.
Don't do that!
Why is your mother shaking her stomach?
She must be hungry, what's the time?
It's two o'clock.
Time for milk.
Mom, drink your milk.
Don't hit me!
I want congee!
Please get the
congee for me
I want congee!
Be good. I'll get it for you.
You need to get closer!
- Careful, it's hot! - Thanks.
Hold the bowl.
I'll help you... take your time.
Why is your brother lifting his leg?
He needs a pee!
He's like a dog, he lifts his leg.
Go to the toilet.
I want to pee... kiss me first!
Now what!
One kiss, please!
Go to the toilet!
You kiss him too! Kiss him!
No! She's a lady!
If you don't, I'll pee on the TV!
All over the TV!
Go to the toilet! Jesus!
Kiss her... or I'll pee into the street.
Get down!
I'll pee into the street...
Go to the toilet!
Kiss him first!
I'll pee on the fridge...
Get down!
Kiss him!
Go to the toilet.
Pee on the fridge!
I'll pee on mom's head, unless you...
Okay... I'll kiss him...
A real smacker!
Mom, are you okay?
Sit down.
Are you okay?
I'm going to the toilet
I'm sorry about this.
It's alright.
What's the sandbag for?
My mom uses it for physiotherapy.
And the dumbbells?
She has rheumatism.
She needs it for exercise.
Who plays mahjong?
I...
You?
My brother actually...
Your brother?
No... my brother's father.
He was a magician.
This is a magic mahjong set.
There's one more in the kitchen.
I'll show you, it's cool!
Okay.
Do you see a pair of glasses over there?
Yes.
Put them on,
isn't it neat?
The idea came from a movie.
What's this?
Red Chung.
And this one?
West.
Let me have a go.
Okay.
White Board... One Circle.
This is great. Let's see, One Million.
I want to play.
Hi! This is fun!
Let me see.
Here.
You got the idea from a movie, did you?
No, not really...
Three Million... Green Fat.
I can see them all. Clever boys!
Great.
Nine Circles!
This is fun!
I want to spank someone.
What?
Spank your bottom!
Please don't.
I must spank you.
Just once.
Only softly!
Gently please.
Mahjong. I want to play mahjong.
Play mahjong, King of Gambling... which hand do you use?
This one!
Stop! You'll hurt your mother!
I love mahjong, let's play mahjong.
What do you want to play?
I don't want to play mahjong now.
What do you want to play?
Let's go Roller skating!
Roller skating?
I want to go roller skating.
Let's go now.
"I was alone..."
"So sad and alone"
"Lost in the dark"
"Walking in a lonely-path"
"You were the same"
"But we found each other"
"Alone, the world was cold"
"Together we are warm"
"Tonight, this world has two less lonely people"
"We'll wipe away our tears"
"And forget all our old wounds"
"Tonight, this world has two less lonely people"
"Together we'll float in the night air"
"Together we'll make all verses rhyme"
"Hand in hand on a rainy night"
"Holding each other tight"
Did you have a good time?
Say "thank you" to Miss Cheung.
Thanks mommy.
This is really embarrassing.
Goodbye.
Bye.
My mom had a great time!
I had a good time too.
Hey, dumb dumb!
I'd better go now.
Wait, this is for your mother.
Take it.
Take it to a respectable watch shop.
It's worth a few hundred thousand.
Get a specialist.
To cure your mother.
And send your brother to a special school.
Yes, but...
Ma'am... Mr. Li is really upset.
You'd better talk to him.
Bill, you still haven't told my future.
Feeling bones, I can only tell your past.
You must make your own future!
Should it go horizontally or vertically?
Tonight she gets engaged, tomorrow we go on sale.
What a headline: "Actress caught with lover before wedding".
We'll sell millions.
Hold this for me... Printer Lau?
Hello? Is Printer Lau there?
- It's the most valuable.... - Lau...
- ...present I ever got! - We can't get it
to you until 4 o'clock.
She's a nice girl!
And has a good heart.
This photo will ruin her if we publish it.
What's on your mind?
What's on yours?
Hey, the negatives.
We'll get fired.
Okay, if get fired, we just pack and run. Hurry!
Printer Lau will work overnight...
Let's put the picture in...
Where's the photo?
Bill's returning it to Sandy.
Why?
She's kind and has a wonderful life ahead of her.
We'll ruin her if we publish that photo.
Don't you see?
You want to starve?
Without this cover story, our company will collapse.
You're late. Thank you for coming.
Your turn to sing, Superman.
Sure, no sweat.
Everybody freeze!
Change into your uniforms,
Quick!
Please sign here, sir. I'm only delivering something to Sandy.
Why are you hiding here?
I'm tired.
Oh, it's you.
This is for you.
I lied about being blind
I'm actually a reporter.
This was going to be our front cover.
But I've decided not to publish it.
The negative is inside, burn them all.
Why didn't you burn it?
I owed you an explanation.
I wouldn't drink so much if I were you.
I hope you'll live happily ever after.
I must go. Goodbye.
Your brother took the photos!
Where is he?
Over there!
You can start serving.
It's all set.
Help yourself.
Don't move! Stay down! Or I'll shoot.
Freeze!
Don't panic, we only want your money!
Stand up and keep your hands up.
Give it back! Come on!
Bride, get on stage.
Everyone else stay where you are.
Sorry, we're late!
We just got started. Join the others.
Form a queue, quick.
Take a plate each.
Put all your valuables on the plate.
Cash in here, cheques in here.
Gold ornaments here, necklaces here.
Rings here, and pens and lighters here.
If you try keeping
anything back...
Now start!
A buffet robbery! Take some photos.
Our magazine will have an exclusive
I'm too scared to move.
But you have the camera. Hurry up
I'll help you.
Move.
Quickly, one by one.
Dump it in!
Hurry!
I'll buy you another one.
Hello?
Honey, I'm Stella.
Come for a drink!
Come on...
No, I'm busy.
What are you doing?
I'm in the middle of a robbery
I'll call you later.
Move along quickly!
Whose is this?
It's fake!
You wore fake jewelry to this party!
I knew she was cheap!
You'll have to eat a prawn!
No problem, what's the big deal!
With the shell on!
It's your turn, Rich Kid!
Your jewelry shop's downstairs,
Sloppy!
Yes, boss.
Go and bring all the jewelry here!
You must be joking!
If you're not back in 10 minutes
I'll kill your fiancé.
She's worth more than a few million!
Please don't...
It's not worth it.
There's not much stuff downstairs.
Sloppy, call me!
Robert...
Don't hurt my son, please.
Give them the money, son.
One more... there...
Why do you all look so sad?
10 more minutes and it's over!
My man will be back soon.
Stop worrying, relax!
I sing you a song!
How about "Bad Girl"? My favourite.
This is dedicated to you all!
Get one more shot.
Why, why, tell me why, I'm so sexy.
Even a lady becomes a vamp.
Stop! You two! Come up here!
He means you!
The one with the grey suit and glasses.
Me?
Yes, you...
And the short guy.
Oh shit...
Yes, sir!
What are you doing?
He had cramp, I'm just helping him!
Boss, this guy looks familiar!
I've never seen you before!
Oh, we met in the woods!
Right.
Show my boss what a ghost looks like!
Ghost? What ghost?
Just do it!
You can do better!
That's it!
He was the guy at the cemetery!
I was on my way to a BBQ!
Boss.
He's a reporter... the director.
What's this, a camera?
It's just a hobby!
You want my photo for your front page?
No, no, it's just you're photogenic!
I'll keep this
as a souvenir.
Stay and sing for us, okay?
Over here.
But I can't sing...
The lyrics are on the screen...
I really can't sing.
You can. I'll shoot you if you can't!
I can now!
Good, let's sing...
What's the situation?
We're opening the safe.
Good... Let's start!
You first. Like this...
Why, why, tell me why the night...
Who's laughing?
You, come here.
Okay.
Hurry up!
You find my singing funny?
You can't sing, you should shoot yourself!
So you're a good singer, Punk!
Of course.
I'm the singing prince!
The singing prince! So let's sing.
Okay. Can you untie me?
You sing with your mouth, not your hands.
Okay then!
Let's sing.
Will you two be my chorus?
I can't sing.
Ready!
Why, why, tell me why, I'm so sexy.
Even a lady becomes a vamp!
Tie, tie, untie me...
I can't be good tonight...
Why, why, tell me why...
...becomes a vamp!
What are you doing?
I can't be good tonight...
Why, why, tell me why, I'm so sexy...
Don't move!
Put your guns down!
Be cool, guys!
It's painful to eat an unshelled prawn.
Now imagine a whole lobster!
The pain of the claw!
Think of the blood, put your guns down.
Save your boss, put your guns down!
Lay down your guns.
Oops... it broke!
A lobster claw is harmless.
He only wanted your boss to taste it...
Never point it at someone's throat!
Boss, this is delicious.
Have a bite.
Don't move or I'll kill him.
So you want to kill me...
Mind your gun!
Go to hell!
Get down!
Yes?
That creep set off the alarm.
Did you get the jewelry?
No.
Kill him!
He got away!
I'm outside too, you guys better run!
Hard luck, your fiancee prefers money to your life.
Get ready to leave!
That bastard thinks I'm kidding.
Kill his bird!
Watch it.
Let's go.
Sir.
Report to the 2nd Floor.
Yes Sir.
Hey, boss!
We can't publish that photo.
What do you mean?
We set her up,
We're accusing her of having a lover,
We'll ruin her life! Don't you feel bad?
We've spent a lot of time on this scoop.
If we don't publish it, our company will fold!
How will we pay the staff?
You gotta eat too, let's go...
Wait please... don't you feel guilty?
Guilty? What's that?
You fancy her.
But don't screw up our lives as well!
We have to make a living?
Listen, I don't fancy her,
But being so ruthless,
You might as well be a pimp!
It's not the same!
You don't understand!
You're a pimp!
Did you check the dictionary on the meaning of "pimp"?
Do I look like one? I don't look like a pimp, do I?
No, you look like a whore!
I have told you before.
Those timid robbers would've never shot you.
And I caught them out!
I can't give them the jewelry.
One day the money will belong to you, too!
What would you have done.
Seriously, would you marry me if I were poor?
Sandy... Sandy...
Let him go.
Go!
You're not the only woman in the world!
Sandy, come here.
Stop taking my picture!
I came as soon as you paged me.
What's the matter? Are Fly and Bill okay?
Bill's leg got bruised, that's all!
Where's the front page photo? Is this it?
The printer's waiting. We'll never meet the deadline!
Get in the taxi.
Who is it?
The pimp!
Be honest.
Forget all that guilty crap,
you fancy her, right?
I've got a present for you!
Are you happy now?
Negatives and all.
We won't publish it!
How's your leg?
Not too bad, come in.
What about the magazine?
When we hit rock bottom,
I'll close it down!
And go back to teaching.
I've been a teacher for 10 years.
What will I do?
You? You don't have to worry!
Green Fat!
You're the King of Gambling, right?
Get some rest.
There might not be an office tomorrow.
You're hopeless! My business is gone,
And you're chasing women.
Whatever you do,
Forget about women!
Cool it boss. I've got something for you.
What?
Pictures of the entire robbery.
Is it good enough for a front page story?
All the robbers' faces? Wow?
Really?
An exclusive!
I'll be damned if this won't sell.
Don't move... police!
What's the matter?
Don't move... police!
Mr. Hui from "Truth Weekly"
deserves our applause.
The Commissioner will present a $800,000 award to Mr. Hui.
Congratulations, Mr. Hui.
Thanks
I've come to return your fish.
How kind of you.
Did they behave?
Yeah, but they sure eat a lot.
Mr. Hui, about the payments...
I've got the cheque here.
That's great!
Thanks for your consideration.
Naughty boys!
Miss Ho.
How nice of you to come.
You're not only a good singer,
within a week,
you've redeemed your magazine.
You're ahead of your time!
With your help of course.
Here's a new contract.
I'll sign it... thanks.
Three copies, right?
Yes.
I'll return them as soon as they're signed.
Miss Ho "Do you know I am waiting for you"?
Cheers.
Hello.
How's your leg?
Fine. When are you getting married?
You changed your plan?
What's next?
We must create our own future, remember?
Yes... But what's next?
You could treat me
to some beef noodles.
Sure!
What's up, boss?
Sit down, I've got something for you!
The company really appreciates your help.
Here's a small bonus...
$5,000 each.
Keep up the good work.
That's peanuts!
That's a bit mean!
Mean?
I've prepared a game!
Here's $10,000.
I'll add another $10,000.
We'll play a hand of cards.
Double or nothing.
We'll each draw a card.
The higher card gets all.
What do you say, King of Gambling?
Sure, no sweat!
Come on then.
I'll go first.
Hey, that's the oldest trick in the book!
You call me a cheat?
You're the one to talk!
Let's play an honest game!
Right on!
No glasses. Draw a card.
As long as you don't cheat!
Let's have a fair game.
Okay, if anyone is caught cheating...
They'll lose a year's salary.
Okay, a year's salary!
I'll go first!
Wait!
Okay,
"King!"
I'm not sure if this one wins over yours?
Let's go get some chow!
Wait! I caught you two punks!
That's a year's salary!